Family - a band of characters trudging through life sharing food, toothpaste, bedrooms and the common cold.  They are those that we could borrow clothes and money from, lock each other out of our rooms, tease incessantly, share sled rides with and inflict pain and laughter all at the same time.  They are that group that we were born into that would shape and imprint on us - the group that would be the initial definers for our life journey.  We all have them, we all were shaped by them and at times we have to transcend them.

In the best case scenario the family unit is a loving, joyful and supportive group.  However, all too often this is not the case.  Families often are messy - creating an environment that leaves wounds and scars on its members.  I do believe that all parents (no matter how well intentioned) cause varying degrees of damage on their children.  It truly cannot be helped and is part of the human experience.  Youth, like pristine glass absorbs the prints of its handlers.  Some parents smudge, others crack and a few shatter childhoods into jagged pieces that may require lifelong healing.

There have been times when my ego mind has wondered how I ever got into my family - they clearly are not like me.  But over the years that I have done soul work with clients and done this work for myself that it has become clear that we do actually choose the family members and environment that we will be born into.  Our soul energy chooses the specific people and life scenario that the soul can best grow from and fulfill its purposes - even though the ego is not aware of this information.  As soul energy we come to grow and learn, and there are instances that we also come to heal an ancestral line and bring empowerment to this lineage for future generations that will follow.

While we may not identify nor relate with every member of our family there likely will be those that have greater connection and meaning for us.  It is important to not let these connections be negatively affected by the energy of the family as a whole. There may be members of your family that need you and that you must not give up on.  Even if you do find certain members of your family to be difficult - don't lose those that mean the most to you.

Sometimes being in a difficult family environment can teach us the value of creating the opposite environment in our own lives.  When you did not receive the greatest love and acceptance in your formative years then it becomes clearly evident that providing these to your own children is so very needed.  In every family situation we encounter as we grow up we are constantly learning from our family - how to be and how not to be.  They are powerful teachers.

Often having a "family" doesn't require a blood connection.  The people in your lives that love you the most, who are there for you in the most trying times, that stand by you without flinching no matter the circumstances, who respect you, who rejoice in your happiness and who hold you in your sorrow may truly be your family.  It doesn't require DNA to build our own loving family group.

It is important for our own healing to be able to find the value, appreciation and gratitude for our families and for the role they played in shaping our lives.  There may be times that forgiveness is required to be able to move through the past and find peace about the journey with our family.

In peace............Margie